It's weird being a girl who plays an MMORPG, sometimes.
The world of computer gaming is one that is traditionally dominated by nerdy teenage boys, with a light spattering of "old-timers": men who discovered computer gaming in the 1980's or 1990's and who still play - more often than not somehow employed in the broadest sense of the Information Technology industry or closet IT geeks whose hobbies entail messing about with computers.
Girls of all ages though are relatively rare. It is interesting therefore to see how we are treated when the menfolk realize that they have a creature whose squishy bits are in her shirt rather than in her pants, in their midst.
I seldom announce my gender to people I game or group with, and as a result I escape much of the reaction that some womenfolk receive. I also do not speak on Ventrilo or Teamspeak due to a vocal chord issue.
In my guild, however, we have a rather brave young person of the female persuasion who is less careful about announcing her gender and often speaks on Ventrilo (she has little choice - she is one of our few Tankadins).
The first time she spoke up on Ventrilo, her shrill voice sounded like music to my ears. It was lovely to hear a female voice during a Hyjal raid. I should have noticed that something was amiss though, when the entire channel went silent for a few seconds.
And then it came: 20-odd male voices yelling into their microphones, demanding to know who the squeaky voice belonged to, aghast to realize that they had a real, live girl in their midst, and playing the role of tank, at that.
"What!?! A chick on Vent?!? In THIS RAID?!?"
"What's that squeaking?!?"
"Who's the chick?"
"We are doomed!!!"
"I'm in love, marry me!"
The initial excitement took some time to die down, and the raid eventually got underway. But our female tank was in for a surprise if she expected the raid to accept her as one of them... every mistake she made was ascribed to gender. A "girls can't play" attitude was frequently vocalized, despite male raid members also making mistakes, often more crucial to the wipes we endured than hers. No allowances were made for the fact that it was her first Hyjal raid as a tank.
Moreover, every time she spoke in Ventrilo she was mocked for sounding different.
The raid was not a great success, although we did manage to kill Rage Winterchill - and she did a fine job as an AoE tank.
But the cat was out of the bag, and her life in guild chat and on Ventrilo would never be an easy one after that raid. Sexism was the order of the day whenever she was online.
(Do men/boys who play computer games never actually meet women in real life? Have they no respect for others, or does the relative anonymity of having a keyboard, a microphone and a long piece of copper or fibre optic cable between themselves and others allow them to manifest their social shortcomings more freely than society trains us to?)
And then a nastier trend developed: sexual innuendo, not initially checked by guild leadership, became more overt and in some cases disgusting. And now, guild chat and Ventrilo often degenerate into what can most accurately be described as sexual harassment, guild leadership's efforts notwithstanding.
She is more than capable of holding her own though, and has managed to silence her critics and would-be abusers with quick, clever comebacks on many occasions. Yet the onslaught is utterly relentless.
It is sad to behold, although I am grateful that I am being spared from being thus targeted. Only a few members of my current guild know that I am female in real life, and they have been sworn to silence on the issue.
Online gameplay should be about people transcending traditional boundaries of race, nationality, religion, sexuality and gender - and yet people still get so focused on the differences between themselves and others whenever these are made apparent.
I wonder when we will ever get over our natural response to "the outsider" and learn to judge people by their words and actions rather than by their attributes.
14 hours ago
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15 comments:
Hm. I tend to disagree here, I think there are a lot more women playing video games (especially World of Warcraft) than you might think. In fact, a large portion of the people in my guild just happen to be women, and it has been a very rare occurrence for any of us to have any males act so foolish toward us. Maybe it's because I chose to play with a mature crowd?
You say you don't want to be judged, you hate that boys think girls who play are bad players. Yet you also say that men who play video games have no respect for women. You are generalizing as much as them, and giving them a bad game. While I'm sure there are some men in the game who have no respect for women, I'm sure there are also women who don't know how to play the game. But in neither case is it ALL of them.
I am not afraid of my gender. I don't even think twice about talking in vent. If there are people who have a problem with it, they are likely NOT the people I want to be playing the game with. But I've been able to chose to find a group of mature people to play with, where I don't have to be ashamed of my gender.
It is really unfortunate that you've had such a bad experience with men in the game, I hope your experience with men in real life hasn't been quite so horrifying! :) My recommendation is keep looking until you find a group of people who don't care about your gender!
BTW, I recently wrote a post just earlier this week on a similar topic about WoW Blogging and gender issues, you can read it here:
http://mendpet.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/gender-specific-blogging/
- Brajana
I'm sorry you've had to deal with that kind of thing =( I guess I'm rather lucky, I haven't had to. My guild has a ton of females in it (for whatever odd reason), our raids often consist of about 50% females (all of us on Vent) and we all get along very nicely with each other. I have also yet to run into sexist PuGs via Vent (though sexist battleground PuGs is another unfortunate story of mine, but only happened once, thankfully...)
And yeah all the guys I have run into, are fine with judging people by their playing ability as opposed to their gender. So maybe I am just lucky! I know this kind of stuff is out there though, which is unfortunate. If it ever gets too bad in game (like blatant sexist remarks) you can report people for it.
I'm also sorry to hear that you have observed such behaviour. I'm another lucky one in that I belong to a great guild with several female players and everyone gets along great male and female alike. I'm going to agree with Braj here, there are many women playing online games. Sounds to me like the guild atmosphere is pretty immature, that kind of behaviour would get short shrift in my guild. I would recommend that both you and the tanktress that you refer to do yourselves a favour and find a guild where people respect you for who you are regardless of gender.
I also have to admit that it gets my goat to hear of women who refuse to talk in vent or reveal their gender in game. Why hide it? Stand tall and proud as an MMO playing woman and help bust those outdated stereotypes.
I don't recognize myself at all. I've never felt discriminated because I'm a woman and people won't go crazy if I speak on vent.
Though I must say I've met fewer female players in the game than in the blogs. My impression from guilds as well as pugs is that there are about 1-2 female players on 10 male. But I may be wrong or maybe they've just hidden their gender, not making a big fuss about it.
My opinon in this matter you'll find in a blogpost I wrote some months ago.
http://pinkpigtailinn.blogspot.com/2008/03/woman-in-wow-are-you-discriminated.html
Hmmm... I am jealous of you all. :-P
My rant was not aimed at ALL male players in the game though, some have been (and are) wonderful towards female players, and even go so far as showing actual acts of chivalry.
Perhaps it's just the server I am on (or because it's a PvP server), but I have met really few female players on Ahn'Qiraj, and most of the menfolk are really surprised to meet an actual female player.
I've been on both sides of the issue, and to me it tends to boil down to the age of the people you play with. Younger males often do give off the "OMGWTFBBQ a girl" reaction, and pre-BC I was the only female in a hardcore raiding guild so I've been the butt of jokes (and consequently grown a VERY thick skin about all this).
However I've also been in guilds (and am currently) with an older crowd including many women and many married men with families (who, as a general rule, tend to know how to be nice to women). And being female is just a non-issue, so much so that nobody really notices or probably even cares.
Then again I'm of the school where I don't announce my gender or make a big deal of it because it's an online game, how does it matter one way or another?
there are a ton of girls in my guild including: the guild leader, the main tank.
this was the same as my previous online game, ragnarok online.
If you want to play with more girls in WoW, go to an RP server. They have a disproportionate amount.
Or go to a game which has more asian/asian american population. Alot of the free korean games out there fit this bill. Alot of asian girls play online games.
Our only rogue (or only raiding rogue anyways) has one of the sexiest voices i've ever heard. hawt! I swoon and wipe the raid frequently.
I think a lot of it has to do with age. In my current guild the average age is close to 30. And I know as an officer this wouldn't be tolerated, but honestly it has never come up. Our best healer is a woman (Pre-BC she was Kicking ass in NAXX, with the furthest progessed horde guild on the server). However I know such harassment has taken place in other guilds though, and tends to happen in guilds with a lot of teenage to early 20 males.
Honestly this really isn't limited to WoW. I see the exact same thing mixed recreational sports leagues. I mean our soccer league gives 2 points per female goal, vs. 1 for male, how fucking sexist is that? And in certain sports (hockey for one) I have encountered lots of girls can't play attitude. I wouldn't worry that much though, as this type of attitude seems to pretty much disappear among those with wives/kids.
Wow, I appreciate my casual raiding guild (raids 1-2 nights a week, mostly older mature players) even more. I'm a guy, but that kind of behavior is just... no.
Even the more hardcore guilds I've run with have a sizable female population, most likely owing to the maturity of the members.
Good luck with all of that, and I hope you find a better environment some day.
Aurgh! So I have only played for about a year and a half…. and I have been in 5 different guilds, 3 w/ my main, a MM Hunter. These three guilds have been vastly differnt.
The first I couldn’t get help and was completely ignored.. . so were many of the other players, female & male.. So I left after about 4 months & joined another.
In the second there was only one other female, who caused all sorts of trouble, ingame & in real life. Most had sexual undertones (BElf always stripping and giving headset sex)… so that led to the guy players think I would be the same.. Not!
My new guild has it’s good points & bad. As a fairly lrg-to-med-sized guild, they only have 2 other females (one is a wife, one is a daughter) though they do not discriminate. They are all aware I am not the greatest player, and I come out and say so.. so there is no abnormal bashing… They are all supportive…some a little too much. It’s as if they need to protect me.. Not!.. If I screw up and get in a jam, treat me like you would any other guildie… I also started talking on vent with this guild. Unfortunately I have one of those voices, the deep soft ones. This is causing a few of the guys to wanna party w/ me too much. In fact a couple guys have had me greet new guild members, only to hear “what did I tell you?! She has a really sexy voice.” (aurgh) Generally I stay quiet, esp during raids, unless I need to call something out. Every once in awhile there is awkward silence from the others after I talk. But I am always wondering if I am there because I am female and my voice, or do they really need a MM Hunter. One time they tried to switch out a more skilled MM Hunter with me for a Kara run. I quickly backed out and logged to play an alt. Don’t get me wrong… I actually love this guild in general… I even set-up their website. And yes, I do casually voice play w/ only a select few (3) (nothing my conservative mom would be ashamed of). Many of the players treat me fine… but I still wonder. (Do they make anything that can adjust how your voice sounds on vent? I wanna sound like that 18yr college kid..lol)
The guild I run with is mostly comprised of members who are mostly 30+. The people who have occasionally been inappropriate tend to be younger single guys. Our policy has thus far been a single harsh warning sent in a private whisper explaining that that sort of behavior will not be tolerated. If they continue they get reported and meet the swift /gkick boot.
I can't think anything but WTF!?
I have played with a couple of women during my time in wow and haven't seen any problems similar to those you describe.
Maybe the guys are just VERY childish and... alone.
I hope you won't ever have such harsh problems in the game.
I guess I am the only one who had the same experience as your pally tank did. All my failures were even listed on the guild website forum, and of course there was plenty of failure to go around. Funny thing is that now I am an officer in the same guild. Guess we can wear them down in time ;)
I'm a female raider. What you should keep in mind is that we are who we are and we will be made fun of for our stereotypes. When men rag on men, they call them fags, say they have a small penis, or otherwise attack their manhood. When guys rag on women, they go for their womanly qualities. It's the same everywhere you go. My suggestion is to shoot the shit with them. Bond, hang out, let it be known that you're cool and confident. When my older, mature, nearly-wedded guild leader says, "It's Nassira's fault, she's a girl," I laugh, tell him to shut the hell up, and hit him back with something equally as joking. And if you're truly being sexually harrassed - let your GM know, and either get him out, or you get out. I don't hate the kids in school for calling me "freckle-face", and I certainly don't believe it's sexist to have your womanly stereotypes mentioned or poked fun of. It's a natural human response, one that's commonly accepted as humor these days, what with shows that have a "make fun of everything and nothing gets hurt" mentality. Certainly don't be afraid to be a woman any more so than a man should be afraid to be a man. Talking in vent is a huge part of WoW, and hanging out with your guild can be ridiculous fun, especially when you get to know each other. Good luck, and have fun.
I'm truly sorry you had such had experience with men on wow.But
as one o posters said all aint the
same.I'm a man myself and have always treated women on wow with respect couse some of them put out better performance than male members.
also our gm is a women and some members also but no one in guild treats them bad.I guess it does depend on age and mental state.
if one is alone a lot as someone posted such things can happen even more couse you don't see the person on the other side if they could reaction would be different.
people on line sometimes tend to forget that there are real people on the other side of the character
people with feelings just like themselves.
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